Scary Sarah Simpleton

Sarah Simpleton was not the least bit pleased by her name, and who could blame her? No matter how often her well-meaning parents (Sally and Sam Simpleton) tried to convince her of the things that could and could not break bones, Sarah was not appeased.

The schoolmate insults leveled at Sarah began as basic chants of her name, but as she grew, the range of her peers’ creative name-calling grew as well. Eventually, the fact that her parents’ names and hers all began with the letter “S” led to refrains of “suh-suh-suh-sarah suh-suh-suh-simpleton.” (Timothy Renfield believed Sarah deserved one “suh” for each “S” in the family, and the rest of the kids went along with Timothy because he was the kid all the other kids wanted to be.)

As Sarah grew, the teasing became worse, and she folded more and more into herself. Sarah had no friends, and though several teachers were as vigilant as possible about stopping the teasing leveled at her, the truth was Sarah Simpleton was her name, and nothing and no one could change that—or the psychological issues having such a name caused.

Sarah developed an imagination well beyond that of the average young boy or girl who creates friends with whom to spend summer afternoons and rainy evenings. Sarah created an entire world of people for herself, and where most children imagined a world unlike the one in which they lived, Sarah’s fantasy world was identical to the real thing, except that in Sarah’s world, no one made fun of her name.

After awhile, it became apparent to those around Sarah that she spent a good deal of her time enmeshed in her own thoughts, and soon Sarah Simpleton became Scary Sarah Simpleton. By the time Sarah was dubbed scary by her classmates, she’d learned to block out the noise of the world around her, and more often than not, the insults hurled her way (along with the protective measures taken by the adults around her) went unnoticed.

Sarah’s parents were helpless during most of their daughter’s struggles, and while they did their best to assist Sarah through the taunts and teases, they had little luck reaching their child.

When Sarah had insulated herself from the outside world by means of her imagined one, Sally and Sam Simpleton agreed the best course of action would be to take no action. After all, once Sarah got a bit older, the teasing and ridicule would end, and Sarah would be able to get on with her life.

Which is why it was both a shock and a pleasant surprise to Sally Simpleton when her daughter came to her one afternoon and asked her mother whether or not they might take a trip to the pet store. Along with her request, Sarah presented to her mother a short list of supplies:

• Cat bowls


• Cat food


• Cat collar


• Litter box


• Litter


• Toys

Sarah’s mother was taken aback by her daughter’s sudden want of a pet. For years, Sarah’s mother and father had tried to foster a desire for a companion in their daughter, but Sarah never showed any interest.

“Honey, isn’t there something missing from this list?”

Sarah’s mother spoke to her in a teasing manner, but Sarah didn’t seem amused. The girl walked up to her mother’s outstretched hand, viewed the list with a careful eye, stepped back, and replied,

“No. Everything I need is there.”

“The cat, Sarah—you didn’t put ‘cat’ on your list.”

Again, Sarah’s mother delivered her words in a tongue-in-cheek manner, and again, Sarah seemed unmoved by the humor.

“No. I didn’t forget. I have the cat. He showed up just this morning. I tired to shoo him away, but it seems he’s decided to stay. Obviously, he’ll need the items on the list if he’s going to be here for awhile. If you’d prefer, we can skip the toys and the collar as neither is absolutely necessary.”

Sarah’s mother could do nothing more than stand flat-footed and stare at her daughter. The joy she’d felt over what she presumed to be Sarah’s coming out of her shell evaporated into confusion over how to respond. She chose the direct approach.

“Sarah, show me the cat you want to buy these things for.”

“Mother, you know perfectly well you won’t be able to see it.”

“Well, if you can’t show me the cat, I can’t take you to the pet store.”

“Very well, but the cat will grow hungry and thirsty before too long.”

“Well then, you’d better think your cat the supplies he needs!”

Sally Simpleton had not meant to reply so crossly to her daughter, but she’d grown exasperated over Sarah’s fantasy world, and having glimpsed what she thought was a moment of lucidity in the girl, watching it disappear was more than she could bear.

Before Sarah’s mother had a chance to apologize, Sarah had turned and left, heading to the safety of her room and her made-up world.

***

Over the course of the next few days, Sarah repeatedly asked her mother to take her to the pet store, and her mother continued to refuse. When Sally caught Sarah sneaking food up to her room for the cat, she’d had enough.

It’s pointless to ground a child whose days are spent holed up in her room or alone in the backyard, so the only punishment Sarah’s mother could think of was to force her daughter to go with her on each and every one of her errands and club meetings when the child wasn’t in school. This kept Sarah away from her room, her people, and her cat.

Two days later, Sally Simpleton received a call from the principal of Sarah’s school. A camera had gone missing from the art department, and several students claimed to have seen Sarah take it and leave the school grounds. The principal was wondering whether or not Sarah had gone home.

Sally Simpleton assured the principal her daughter had not come home, and she was about to hang up and call her husband and the police when in through the kitchen door walked Sarah. In Sarah’s hands was a camera. Mrs. Simpleton hung up on the principal without realizing it, and as she was about to address her daughter, Sarah walked though the kitchen and headed upstairs to her room.

When Sally Simpleton’s “Young lady, you come back here this instant!” got no response, she went upstairs to confront her child.

She found Sarah sitting in front of her computer with the camera plugged in, and as she began to chastise the girl, Sarah turned the computer screen, so her mother could view it.

“There, you see? There’s the cat. I took his picture just now as he was disappearing. He’s been doing it more and more lately. I think he’s starving. Now, can we please go to the pet store?”

Sarah’s mother said nothing. She looked from her daughter to the picture, and back to her daughter, then she turned around, walked downstairs, and as she grabbed her car keys, she yelled out,

“I’m ready when you are, honey.”